do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
