I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
