One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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