Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Sorry about my life...
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
