? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Welp...herpes.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
