i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
