I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
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On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
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Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.