Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
Well my cheeks are red now
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
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he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
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I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno