Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
