Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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