All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
