I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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