There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
