So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
