Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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