I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i was born a porn star she said
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
