her vagine was all disorganized.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
im calling her cock vulture from now on
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
