It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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