I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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