I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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