She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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