Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Randomize
