Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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