he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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