You were right. It hurts to walk today.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
