I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Everclear isn't food dammit
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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