He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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