really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
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