I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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