@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
