Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
