Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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