Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
