He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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