i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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