i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
