You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
