his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
third nipple confirmed
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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