i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
