so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
