Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
