Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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