Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
