I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
