we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
