would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
