And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
