So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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