And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
