it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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