I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
