i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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