hell yes lets make some ravioli
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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