I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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