Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
