I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i came on her dog
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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