I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
