and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
