So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize