She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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