we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
