Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
