I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
