my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize