i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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