My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
