we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
