Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
